EVERLASTING FRIENDSHIP IN THE LORD
1 Samuel 20:1-42
Key Verse: 20:42
“Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, 'The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’ Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town”.
In our journey of life, we make friends along the way. Except for the blood relationship with family, friendship is one of the strongest relationships we make. Who was your best friend in Elementary School, High School, College, and Adulthood? What is the mark of a true friend? What makes a true friend? Today, we find a true friendship between David and Jonathan. Their friendship was based on Godly love. These days it is rare to find a true friend in the world. Not many people have a true friend they can share everything with. Friends come and go. But we can find a true friend in the Lord. A true friend remains a friend forever. Let’s learn about true friendship through today’s passage. May God bless us to be a true friend of Jesus by demonstrating our loyalty and love for him!
What are the essential qualities for eternal friendship in the Lord?
First, a true friend is one who has like values, centered upon love for God
In chapter 19 Saul tries to kill David. So David escaped from Saul and went to Samuel at Ramah. God protected David from Saul and saved his life. From this time on, David became a fugitive. Though he was hated by Saul, he was loved by Jonathan the son of the king. At great personal risk, David returned to Gibeah to say good-bye to his friend Jonathan. Look at verses 1-3. “Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, "What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?" "Never!" Jonathan replied. "You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn't do anything, great or small, without confiding in me. Why would he hide this from me? It's not so!" But David took an oath and said, "Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, 'Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.' Yet as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death." David went to his spiritual friend Jonathan in his greatest time of need. It is a great blessing to have a friend to share our deepest thoughts with. During our Spring Bible conference 10 people shared their hearts before many people. How could they do that? They regarded us as their friends who would pray and support them. Our true friend Jesus never condemns his friends but welcomes us as long as we confess our sins before him. When we have life problems, we can go to our spiritual friends and ask for their help. Jonathan’s response to David’s request is amazing. Look at verse 4. “Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you." Jonathan was willing to do anything for David. This means that Jonathan would betray his father Saul in order to save his friend. In this test of friendship, Jonathan did not waver for even a moment. He maintained his loyalty to David at any cost. How was such a strong friendship between them developed? Why was Jonathan drawn to David? What did they value in friendship? Jonathan recognized in David the same qualities that characterized his own life. Both Jonathan and David were not afraid of the size of the opposition. Jonathan said in 1 Sam 14:6c: " Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few." David said 1 Sam 17:47: " All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands." Jonathan valued David’s faith to defeat Goliath in the name of the Lord. Both of them loved God and fought to restore the name of the Lord. When Jonathan saw how David defeated Goliath, he became an instant friend with David. Jonathan shouted, “This is it. David, you are my friend.” Jonathan saw himself in David because both of them trusted in the name of the Lord. Jonathan shared David’s victory as his own because the God of David was his own God. Their value in God united Jonathan and David to become one in spirit. Their love for God joined them together to forge true friendship. This kind of friendship lasts forever because it is founded in God’s love. Also, both Jonathan and David took the initiative when others were reluctant to do so. They shared similar leadership qualities. They sought God’s revelation and devoted their actions to the Lord.
How can we apply their friendship in our practical life? Friends must be Christians. 2 Cor. 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” We need to have friendship with believers who are the like-minded and share the same values and love of God. Look at verse 17. “And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.” This kind of friendship is not based on human benefits. Romans 8:35a says, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?” Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Friendship based on the love of God cannot be broken but endures forever because God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. (Heb 13:8) Moses and Fredrick share the same values in God and are like-minded through their faith in God. We have tennis friendship. We play doubles and the waiting wish that the losing team lose fast so that they can play soon. During the play, the junior missionaries had no mercy on me and I began to lose a lot of games. But after the game we become friends again because we love Jesus and share the common value together. When Moses asked Fredrick to use his car, Fredrick said, “Use it like it’s your own.” Fredrick trusted Moses as a friend in Christ. Moses would like to attend Fredrick’s wedding since he forged friendship together while living in the common life house. I see a strong bond among team members. Shaina spent long evening hours Thursday (doing what?) to attend Sarah’s general graduation ceremony. Paul J. Kim is not a morning person but he is coming to Salt Shaker’s team Bible study Sunday morning because he values friendship in the Lord. All team members are forging a life-long friendship in the Lord through their team meetings. They can share their thoughts, and struggles, and successes among them because they trust in the Lord. Their friendship is better than a Facebook friend.
Second, a true friend is one who strives for the success of the other more than himself.
Jonathan and David could easily have been rivals--far more likely than David and Saul, since
Jonathan and David were closer to the same age, and Jonathan was heir to the throne.
Yet Jonathan from the very beginning promotes David. Look at 1 Sam 18:4, “Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.” Jonathan gave David his royal clothes, including his weapons. What an act of generosity and sacrifice! Look at 14-15. “But show me unfailing kindness like that of the LORD as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family-- not even when the LORD has cut off every one of David's enemies from the face of the earth." 16 So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "May the LORD call David's enemies to account.” Wow! Jonathan wished that the Lord cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth. Jonathan promotes David’s success with the help of God. This means the destruction of the kingdom of Saul. Jonathan is giving up his kingship to David. As we know, David’s success brought hatred and a murderous plot from King Saul. When the women sang their song of 18:6-7 to the returning soldiers, that word “tens of thousands” fell upon Saul’s ears and awoke the demon of jealousy within him. Saul could not congratulate David for the great victory which was also his own victory. When he became jealous of David, he began to fight against the will of God and brought his own ruin in the end. Saul could not fight against God’s plan to make David the next king after him. Here we learn that jealousy brings hatred which destroys our relationship with others. Jealousy should not exist among Christian friends. Their success and their glory are also our success and our glory. Just like their struggle is also our struggle. We must give thanks to God for our friend’s success. Jonathan had a firm belief that David would be king, and respected God’s will even it meant detriment to him. Look at 23:17, “Don't be afraid," he said. ‘My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.’" Jonathan boldly predicts that David will be king over Israel, and Jonathan second to him. This attitude is similar to that of John the Baptist in John 3:30: "He must increase, but I must decrease." Humility is required to rejoice in friend’s success like John the Baptist. A true friend rejoices in the success of his friends. We should rejoice, not be envious, of the success of our co-workers and teammates. There is a saying, “If a cousin buys a field, he has a stomach problem.” If your coworker is good in singing, encourage him or her for talent of signing without envy. If your coworker is good in teaching, praise God and pray for students. If we may have a hint of envy for other friend’s success, then accept your friend’s success as your own success. Let’s strive for the success of others more than ourselves. Of course, it is not easy to practice this spiritual principle. We need Jesus’ help to promote others more than ourselves. Like Jonathan, Jesus gave up the glory of heaven and became fully man to become our friend. He gave up his life on the cross that we might be promoted as children of God.
Third, a true friend is one who becomes sacrificially involved in the welfare of his friend
Look at verses 20:30-34. “Saul's anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, "You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don't I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he must die!" "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?" Jonathan asked his father. But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David. Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the month he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David.” When our friend is in trouble, we say, "I'll pray for you." But in reality we do not want to risk our life. In this case Jonathan stuck his neck out literally on David's behalf though he knew that his father was in a bad mood and unpredictable. When Jonathan again defends David, he is almost killed by his father. True friendship is to suffer loss for a friend. Jonathan was willing to sacrifice anything for his friend David. Jonathan’s love reminds me of 1 Corinthians 13:6-7, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I love Jonathan’s character. He was flawless in his love for the truth. How in the world did Jonathan, a Godly friend, come out from Saul, a man of jealousy and disobedience! Sacrifice is essential to build our friendship. Jesus said in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus is our true example of friendship. No sacrifice, no friend. When we calculate what we might get from our friend, there cannot be true friendship. One movie star had so many friends when he was popular. But he failed his business and went into bankruptcy, all his friends left one by one and finally his wife also dumped him. Caesar trusted Brutus as his friend but Brutus betrayed him when Caesar had no value in his conspiracy. Caesar died saying, “Brutus, you too.” Calculating people have no friends. Job’s three friends Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar heard about all the troubles and came to comfort Job in distress. But they ended up accusing Job charging that his suffering was the result of his sin. They were not true friends. Sacrificial people have a lot of true friends. Jesus valued one man’s life more than the whole world and he sacrificed two thousands happy pigs to save one demon-possessed man in Mark 5:13. John 10:11 says, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Jesus sacrificed his life for his sheep. Jesus knew that Judas would betray him but he loved him to the end. Peter denies Jesus three times before a little girl and ran away when Jesus died. But Jesus did not abandon Peter. Jesus appeared to Peter again after his resurrection. He did not call Peter, “Hey, you loser.” Jesus called him, “Friend, haven’t you any fish?” (John 21:5) Jesus accepted Peter as he was. Jesus served Peter with hot fish burger. What a friendship Peter had with Jesus. What a beautiful friendship we have in Jesus! Jesus showed his true friendship through his death on the cross. Jesus accepted us just as we are. I was a selfish man in the past. So I did not have a lot of friends. But Jesus accepted me just as I am. Jesus blessed me to have many true friends like M. Elijah and Luke and Moses and their families. Jesus gave me so many faithful friends in UBF. They are so precious to me because we will live together in eternity. Praise Jesus who gave his life for us so that we may become his friends forever.
Fourth, a true friend is one who is a faithful source of strength in time of great need
Jonathan became a faithful source of strength when David came to him in need of help. David is in deep trouble and distress, and comes desperately to Jonathan for help. Jonathan says in 20:4, “Whatever you want me to do, I will do for you.” Jonathan is ever faithful and available to David. The saying goes, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” Jonathan became a great source of comfort when David was running for his life. After the bad news, Jonathan reassures David again in 20:42, "Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, 'The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever." Jonathan emphasized their sworn friendship in the name of the Lord. Not only did Jonathan send him in peace but he also went to David who was in need. Jonathan didn't simply wait for David to come to him--he sought David out. In 23:16, when David is fleeing from Saul and is in the wilderness, Jonathan goes to David, and helped him to find strength in God. (23:16) He offered spiritual encouragement. Sometimes we meet storms of life head on, but it is comforting when we have a friend to plant hope in the future. Later, Saul and Jonathan died in battle. How did David express his sorrow? Look at 2 Sam. 1:26, “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” This verse is David's grief for Jonathan’s death. What a tribute! After Jonathan and Saul die in battle, David praises them both, but fittingly he reserves his highest praise for Jonathan. David praised Jonathan’s sacrificial love! David did not forget his friend Jonathan and maintained his covenant relationship with Jonathan after he died by showing kindness to Jonathan's lame son Mephibosheth (2 Sam 9:1-13). Their friendship continued long after the death of Jonathan. Though it is invisible, Godly friendship is a great investment which will produce invisible reward. Let’s say to our next friend, “Your friendship for me is wonderful.”
In conclusion, the main theme of 1 Samuel is kingdom building. A true friendship is possible in the name of the Lord. God bound David and Jonathan to become a true friend in building the kingdom of David which is the shadow of the kingdom of God. When we think about friendship between David and Jonathan, we think about true loyalty. Loyalty is one of life’s costly qualities. It is most selfless part of love. To be loyal, you cannot for yourself. Loyal people are willing to suffer for their friends. Jonathan is a shining example of loyalty. Sometimes he was forced to deal with conflicting loyalties: to his father Saul and to his friend David. His solution to that conflict teaches us both to be loyal and what must guide loyalty. In Jonathan, truth always guided loyalty. Jonathan realized that the source of truth was God, who demanded his ultimate loyalty. It was his relationship with God. Allegiance to God puts other relationships in perspective. He found God’s will in David and became his loyal and eternal friend with David. May God bless our true friendship to advance the kingdom of God to many lost sheep in America! Let’s read the key verse 42.