Ephesians
5:22-33
Key
Verse 5:32,33 “This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and
the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves
himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Man
lives in relationship. At home there are relationships of husbands and wives,
of parents and children, and at office, of employers and employees. In reality,
there is no area of life in which conflict is more widespread than this
relationship of husbands and wives. The oldest battle of all time is the battle
between husbands and wives. All young people have their own dream of ideal
marriage. So young couples start their marriage in honeymoon and expect that
the marriage would make them happy, but a little later they are disappointed at
each other and finally separate in bitterness. There are increasing divorces
each year all over the world. In this situation, the right relationship of
Christian husbands and wives is so important, because it is a foundation of house
church. In this sense, this message is inspirational because we are praying for
10,000 house churches in U.S.A. I pray that each one of us learn about secret
of happy and victorious marriage life of the house church.
I.
Wives, submit to your husbands (22-24)
Paul begins with wives. Look at verses 22-24. “Wives,
submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the
head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is
the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives
should submit to their husbands in everything.” One of the key words in
5:21-6:9 is “submit.” But this submission is not the same as general obedience.
The Greek word “hupotasso”(submission) is a compound of two words hupo-“under”
and tasso-“to place in a certain order.” So “submit to your husband” means “place
yourself voluntarily under husband’s authority to establish an order at home.” “Wives,
submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” The key verse here is “as to the Lord.”
The Christian wife submits to her husband not because her husband is such a
wonderful creature, but because she has a close relationship to her Lord. She
has to yield to her husband if she loves Jesus. When she yields herself to the
will and aims of her husband, such yielding is pleasing to the Lord.
Why should the wives submit to their husbands?
Look at v.23. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is
the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” The reason given
for a wife to submit to her husband is that he is the head of the wife as
Christ is of the church. There are other headships mentioned in Scripture. In
Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he writes these illuminating words: “Now I
want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the
woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”(1Cor 11:3) God made a woman from
the rib of the man (Gen 2:22) In the creation order, man was made first and
then woman was made, but they were created equal before God. The husband and
the wife have mutually complimentary partnership. God endowed man with headship
and made woman as a helper suitable for him (Gen2: 18b). Therefore, the role of
wives is so important, because she can raise her husband as a great man of God
or make him a fool. It can be said that the future of the husband depends on
his wife. The story of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther’s wife is well known. Dr. Luther
fought against the authority of the corrupt Roman Catholic Church for the
religious reformation. One day, Dr. Luther was exhausted, disheartened and laid
in bed when his wife appeared to him, wearing black funeral garment. Dr. Luther
was surprised to see her in black and asked her, “Who died?” His wife answered,
“God is dead.” Luther got angry and said, “what are you talking about?” She
replied humbly, “Why are you so disappointed if God is alive?” Her co working
was very wise and spiritual. So Dr. Luther could dedicate himself again to the
religious reformation movement.
Look at v24. “Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” The wife
is to allow the husband to make final decisions in everything. The wise wife
encourages her husband all the time and respects him as the head of the family
especially in front of the children. The Christian wife must co-work positively
with her husband in everything, especially in serving God’s work. This is an
important principle of the house church..
II. Husbands, give yourselves up for your wives
(25-27)
Look at v25-27. “25Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to
make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and
to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any
other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Wives, if you think submission to the
husbands is difficult, look at what Paul says to your husbands: “Husbands, love
your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”(v.25) How
did Christ love the church? Jesus humbled himself to be a servant and laid down
his life for the benefit of the church.
A lot of men are selfish, self-absorbed, and
immature. Husbands take it for granted to be served. Husbands are given the
headship from God. But this headship is not the dictatorship. It does not mean
ruling over his wife and family by force, but the husband as a head must humble
himself before his wife and family and serve them unselfishly.
All
husbands should look up to Jesus and imitate him. Jesus was a humble servant and
a good shepherd. He took care of his flock of sheep very gently and
attentively. Especially, Jesus was very kind to women and children who were
despised at that moment. He encouraged and taught them the kingdom of heaven.
Christ Jesus so loved the church that he gave himself up for her. That is the
way the husband is to love his wife. Husbands, are you willing to give
yourselves up for your wives? What does it mean? When the husband returns home
after work, he wants to take a rest, but his wife wants to talk to him. The
husband must listen carefully to what his wife wants to tell him. It is
important to just listen to her with patience. Do not tell her, “Be quiet! you
are talkative.” Do not refuse when she asks your help. Basically the husband
should be kind and considerate to his wife, because she responds sensitively to
her husband. The Christian husband must treat his wife with respect as the
weaker partner and pray for her.
When
the husband loves his wife wholeheartedly and sacrificially, the wife is so
moved that she can respect her husband from the heart and submit to him with
pleasure. When the wife is pleased, she makes various kinds of delicious food
for her husband and works harder than before for the Lord as well as for the
family. The spiritual authority of the husband as a head comes from his sacrificial
love of his wife.
V.26, 27 explain why Christ
loved the church and gave himself up for her. Jesus sacrificed himself to make her
holy and blameless and sanctify her. When the husband treats his wife like
Queen, he is proved to be King. When
Jesus humbly served a demon-possessed Maria Magdalena and an indecent Samaritan
woman, they became radiant princess of the kingdom of God. Likewise, when the
husband denies himself and treats his wife like Queen, so that she may be
honored and feel happy, she will be a radiant and beautiful coworker. The
husband must help his wife grow in the Lord to be a mother of prayer.
Look at v28-30. “In
this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who
loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he
feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of
his body.” The husband must love his wife as he takes care of his body because
the husband and the wife are one body. When the husband loves his wife as his
own body, he can establish a powerful house church.
III. Secret of
marriage (31-33)
Apostle
Paul cites Genesis 2:24 to explain about the significance of the marriage. Let
us read v31-32. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound
mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church” Let us think about the
meaning of the marriage.
God made woman for Adam to help him fulfill the mission. God himself united them into one flesh and thus created the first family. Adam was very happy as he worked with his coworker. He was so happy that he made this confession of love: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. We can see from this confession that man and woman are not separate entities. They are united into one body. A home is built on this confession of love and on this union of personalities. Jesus commented on this first marriage by saying, "What God has joined together, let not man separate" (Mk 10:9). It is God who created the family. However, the family was not created to be an end in itself. When a man leaves his father and mother and makes a life-long commitment to his wife, it is so that he can be an independent and responsible servant of God, working together with his wife to fulfill his mission and glorify God. This is a profound mystery. Among us there are several candidates for marriage. God wants to bless their marriage as a house church for his glory.
Before marriage, the man and the woman were totally different individuals, but through marriage they become one flesh. This means a spiritual as well as physical union just as the union of Christ and the church.
In the early years of the marriage, to the
husband and the wife everything looks fine because they love each other. This
is called a magic of love. However, this magic runs out with the time passing.
Finally they expose their weaknesses and faults and begin to criticize each
other. There are Ten Commandments for the husband and the wife: Don’t yell, don’t
compare with others, don’t touch the weakness, don’t go to bed in anger, don’t
forget the first love, etc. Love is not easily angered. But man cannot but to
be angered sometimes. There is a good idea to keep home in peace. When the
husband or the wife gets mad and ready to fight, move immediately and run away,
hide or get out of the house to go to Giant or CVS or take a walk for a while.
This is good for your physical health as well as your spirit. When you return
home, you will find your spouse calm again. What is love? Love is patient. The
husband and the wife are to be patient. Love is kind. Generally people are very
kind to strangers and clients, but they are not kind at home, especially to the
most intimate person, most important person, her husband or his wife. Love is
not rude. Outside we express thanks many times, but at home we do not say it.
Especially, husbands must say many thanks to their wives.
Look
at v.33. “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband” This is a conclusion. A home where the
husband loves his wife and the wife respects her husband is a true image of
house church. In this house church, there is no divorce, no broken family and
no weeping children. In our times, God wants to restore the original image of
the first family, a Christ-centered house church. God wants to save so many
broken souls through his house church. God already showed us through Christ
Jesus how to serve the house church. When we keep in mind how Christ so loved
the church, husbands and wives can love sacrificially and obey God and serve
his ministry. I pray that all of us may be united in Christ Jesus and serve campus
ministry with one spirit and one mind. Amen.