JACOB'S VOW Key verse: Gen 28:20-22 "Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth." Hello, my name is Allison Haga. I am a Ph.D. candidate at the College of William and Mary. I was born in China in Jan 1972. I moved to Hong Kong with my father when I was five. The Key Verse for my life testimony is Gen 28:20-22 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth. Part I: From a wild horse to a source of blessing Like Jacob, my life is full of struggles. My troubles began when I was young. I was very rebellious, restless, and wild. I lied, stole, and cheated many times. I hated to go to Sunday school because I knew that I was a terrible sinner, but I could not control myself. I felt condemned when I was around with other good Christian kids. I think that God would never love a sinner like me. My father's harsh punishment on me did not improve my condition. My life was miserable and filled with tears. I wanted to die. When I was burdened by my frustration over my sinful nature, I threw myself into playing volley ball so that I might forget all my problems. I played ball game all the time, early in the morning, during recess, during lunch, afterschool, and in the weekend. I was the best player in my training team. Nevertheless, because I did not allow myself to rest, I was over-exercised and became very sick that my kidney was damaged. I could not do any more physical exercise since then. It was sad because I was only 12 year old when it happened, but through this struggle I learned the value of life and I began to take my life seriously. I did not want to be a failure or a burden of my parents. I made a decision to study hard so that I might enter the best college in Hong Kong. After eight years of hard work in middle school and in high school, I entered The University of Hong Kong in Sept 1992. College life was fascinating. I thought that it was the time to hunt myself a boy friend. I joined the Archery Club in my freshmen year and began to receive intensive archery training. There were four handsome young men in my team and I was the only girl. I came to the field early in the morning and practice three to four hours a day because I wanted to be the best. In less than a year, I defeated all my team members and emerged as one of the top female archer in Hong Kong. My coach put great hope in me. His plan was to train me to become the best archer in Hong Kong, and hopefully, I might defeat the Korean archers in the 1995 Atlanta Olympics because Korean archers were the best in the world. I was eagered to be trained well because I wanted to be famous and most importantly to be great! My life, however, was only good outwardly. Inwardly, I was not happy because I was still struggling with my sinful nature. Although I seemed to be very cheerful and upright, I could never hide from the fact that I was wicked and lustful. External success could not bring me any internal peace or joy. I hated myself all the time. The more I struggled to be good and to be successful, the more sorrowful and lonely I felt. Eventually, it affected my archery practice that I could no longer concentrated. I was lost completely in the midst of my success. "Who am I? What am I doing in this world? What am I living for?" My heart was longing for the true meaning of my life. In Spring 1994, one day, when I was waiting for my friend in front of the school library, a Korean lady invited me to study the Book of Genesis. It sounded good because I was hungry and thirsty for the truth of life. Nevertheless, to check her background, I asked her many questions: What is you name? Where did you come from? Do you need to work? How do you get here? Why do you talk to me? Like many other Korea missionaries in UBF, Missionary Angela Kim was a tent-maker. She came to campus during her lunch hour by taxi every day to teach college students the Bible. She talked to me that day because her Bible student did not show up. I was impressed by her faithfulness and her sacrifical life. I knew that unless she had faith in God, she could never live a life like this. I began one-to-one Bible study with her faithfully. God's way is very interesting. I wanted to defeat the best Korean archer, yet I was blessed through the most fruitful Korean missionary because Missionary Angela Kim raised up more than 12 disciples of Jesus in 10 years. The Book of Genesis opened my spiritual eyes. It is God's amazing grace for this terrible sinner to have a chance to know Him deeply. Through one-to-one Bible Study, I found all the answers about the meaning and purpose of my life. God created me and set me apart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. Although I did not know him when I was young, God knew me and He disciplined me through sickness out of His great mercy. While I was still sinning, Jesus Christ died for my sins on the cross so that I might have a new life and a new hope in God's eternal kingdom. I was so glad to hear such a good news. I confessed my love to Jesus and immediately I was freed from the burden of sins. Since then, my value system began to change. Before I sought my own glory and honor. After I met Jesus, my heart desired God's glory and God's honor. I wanted to serve God and to be source of blessing to many wandering souls who were suffering under the power of sin. How wonderful it was! Jesus changed my life from a self-seeking sinner, to a child of God who will inherite God's wonderful blessings. My changed life had immediate effect on my sisters. They all followed me to UBF and studied the Word of God. I also invited my friends to Bible Study and began to teach the Bible. When I was preparing a conference message on Genesis chap.12, I accepted verse 2 as my life key verse, I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you. I will make your name great and you will be a blessing. I still wanted to be great, but now, I wanted to be great in God's sight. It was not easy to be a source of blessing and to live a fruitful life. I must obey God and follow His will by taking up the cross of mission. What did I need to leave so that I might enter the promised land? When I struggled with this key verse, God spoke to me through His command to Abraham. Based on the promise of God, I made a decision of faith to give up my dream to be an Olypmics Archer in order to serve God fully and receive discipleship training. I wanted to teach the Bible to college students and be a shepherd for them. Therefore, I applied for graduate schools, praying that God might raise me up as a professor shepherd for World Campus Mission. Surprisingly, God answered my prayer by opening the door for me to come to study master degree in Ameirca. He also provided me with a full scholarship that covered all the expenses. God is amazing! Part II: From a Greyhound Missionary to a Professor Shepherd I arrived at Williamsburg, VA on August 14, 1995. I was so blessed that God put me in one of the most beautiful campuses in the United States. Since The College of William and Mary is the second oldest college in America, it is the best place to study American history. The most difficult struggle at Williamsburg was how to keep my faith. There was no UBF in Williamsburg; the closest one was in College Park, Maryland. In order to be with God's people and to keep my mission, I took the Greyhound Bus to Maryland to have Bible study and to worship God. God used Missionary Esther Lee to teach me the Bible. Missionary Grace Morkre and Shepherdess Elizabeth Kruser helped me both humanly and spiritually. I had 'once a while' common life with them and they always encouraged me to live by faith. Washington co-workers served me with many eating fellowships and gave me strong prayer support. Missionary Jacob Lee even gave me a nickname: "Allison, you are a Greyhound Missionary." When I was alone in Williamsburg, I struggled to depend on God and to overcome my laziness. I had Chinese daily bread in the morning and English daily bread at night. On Sunday, I spent the day writing weekly testimony. Meanwhile, I also tried to share the gospel with some of my friends in Williamsburg. It was rough at first, but in this way, my journey to be a Bible teacher for American students began. Although it was very difficult to catch up with my graduate classes, when I studied by faith and depended on God, God granted me victory in all my classes. When my Bible teacher, Missionary Angela Kim, challenged me to stay in American as a permanent missionary, I was afraid. From my human point of view, I did not see any way for me to stay in America because my scholarship last for only one year and it was not easy to get into any Ph.D. program. Even if I did, I would still need to face a 2 years commitment to contribute to Hong Kong society. My faith was very limited. I could not fully trust God in everything. My situation was like the Israelites who were facing the Red Sea. To seek God's will, I humbled myself and prayed to God in tears. "Lord, I do not want to stay in this lonely place. Life is hard in America; what am I supposed to do with all these troubles? But if it is Your will, I will obey. If you promise to keep my faith and provide all my need, I will stay. If somehow, you may open the Red Sea for me, I will see it as a sign from you and I will obey Your will and stay in America as a permanent missionary. I will even offer my marriage to you." God answered my prayer immediately by opening the door for me to enter the History Ph.D. program at William and Mary. For the next two years, I was struggled with many difficult classes and at the same time, trying to feed Jesus' sheep. God sent Missionary Matthew and Helen Nam to help me in Spring 1997. Nevertheless, it was God who carried me through all those difficult semesters and granted me victory in all my classes. My life in Williamsburg was smiliar to Isarelites' desert training. There, I learned to follow God and to trust Him. Like Jacob, I was self-centered and was busy with many things, yet God was with me and blessed me in every aspect of my life. God is a personal God who endured my many weaknesses and helped me to overcome my sinful nature. I couldn't do much for Him, but He had done great things for me. He trained me and raised me up to be a Ph.D. shepherdess for American students. In May 1998, I finally moved up to Maryland to join Washington ministry. Out of my great surprised, God gave me a job at the World Bank in Washington D.C. and provided all my financial and medical needs. I did not know that I was suffering from a serious high blood pressure, but through the medical examination requried by the Bank, my problem was discovered and I received proper medical treatment. God takes care of me much better than myself! God Almighty had a greater plan in my life than I ever expected. When I was willing to offer my marriage to God, God blessed me with a handsome and faithful husband. In Jan 1999, I married Shep. Steve Hage and established one of the 10,000 house church in America. Shep. Steve is a very gracious man. He is always peaceful and funny. Although he is a very busy with his Ph.D. study, he makes time to serve God's sheep wholeheartedly without any complaints. Our personalities are very different, but in God, we compensate each other's strength and weaknesses. Since our marriage is based on the promise of God, God is the centre of our family. I pray that God may use our house-church for 206 East Coast pioneering. Since last Fall, I had been commuting between Williamsburg and College Park every week. God opened the door for me to teach a history survey class at William and Mary. I am so thankful for the wounderful expereince. It was the first time in my life that I was called by my students as, "Professor Haga." God finally fulfilled his promise to me to raise me up as a Professor Shepherd. Praise God for He is faithful. My vow to God was very self-centered and very conditional because of my lack of faith. It was nothing impressive about the vow that I made. But, what I learn through this vow is that God's wonderful grace and faithfulness. He opened many doors and provided all my needs. He protected me from all the harms and blessed me according to His will and His plan. I am far from being perfect, yet God is perfect. I can see God's divine plan in my life that everything falls just into the right place. If God had not been with me, I would have never been able to get through all the difficult struggles. Through the vow, God established an unbroken personal relationship with me. The God of Jacob is my God and my shepherd. When no one loves or cares about me, God is always there for me. I was lonely in Williamsburg, but the loving God walked with me every day. Now, I have a nice, loving, and handsome husband; yet he cannot and must not replace God's place in my life. Now, it is the time for me to remember my vow and live a life that please God by living up to His calling. It is very clear that God chose me to be an instrument for American campus mission. I have no doubt that God will use me powerfully in America and raise up 12 disciples of Jesus. Because of God's calling, I change my interest from political history to mission history. I saw God's mighty hand in raising this nation to be His chosen instrument for world mission. In the past, America had sent many missionaries to China. I pray that God may use me to raise up missionaries and sent them to China, the biggest mission land in the 21st century. It is sad that I need to return to Hong Kong because I have a commitment to contribute to Hong Kong society for two years. But, I trust God. No matter where I go, I will remember God's love and His will in my life. I will surely return to you as a well-train missionary. America is my promised land. Shepherd Steve is here waiting for me. I have faith that God will guide my path and protect my family. Please remember me in your prayers. One Word: The Lord is my Shepherd Prayer Topics: - to be faithful to God's calling - to be a source of blessing to Hong Kong ministry - to be a good shepherd to wandering souls - to finish my dissertation - to return to America in 2 years